Correcting the amplitude

UB boy doesn’t trust his feelings. That way he lived as a boy and it lead him to this awful place. So he fully trusts his thinking and calculates his way through life. It’s very hard this way to trim the amplitude though. One miscalculation and the balance drops to depths no human can bear. What about 1984? Can he hold this any longer?
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Amplitude - September 1983
Correcting the amplitude
Down, down, I'm still going up. Near the ground, staring in emptyness. My spirit keeps growing, a tumour. How bright I grow, how smart I am. Deep, deep, I’m still going on. In the mist, staring in water. My body keeps glowing, an endless match. How bright I glow, how smart I am. Each stripe on my face, a correction. The less I care, the more I dare. Each stripe on my face, a correction to keep me from uncontrolled actions. Death is an answer, for it completes all expectations. Suicide, an amplitude too high. Each stripe on my face, to keep the amplitude low. There is no intention at all, but what about '84?